(Interpretation of that terrifying day in Boston)
I have been training for months, testing my physical strength - pushing myself to go beyond yesterday's benchmark - my daily grind becoming more difficult by the moment. One more mile. Sucking in air, feeling as if my lungs are going to explode. Counting steps in my head to think about anything else aside from my side-splitting pain. Pushing myself beyond physical limits - mind over matter.
I am here. I am ready to use my fearless training. On your mark. Ready. Set. Go.
I'm quickly running, fueled by adrenaline and competitve spirit. I listen to the pace of my tennis shoes stepping in time against the ground, smelling the salty, east coast air. I am moved to be running in the race of a lifetime, and for some, it was the last race of their life.
Peaceful thoughts. I am counting my steps, feeling out my paced rhythm, glancing at my watch for the time. My ticking clock turns to sounds of explosions. My inner peace is transformed into fear. What are those bursts of noise? Breathe in. Breathe out. I am no longer running towards the finish line, but running in fear, propelled by trying to stay alive. It is pure instinct. Breathe in. Breathe out.
I cannot believe the sights I see. Was that a limb? "Stop! You are trampling someone!" No one can hear my screams of warning. Racers can't see what they are doing. Pure panic and will to survive has completely taken over the scene. Breathe in. Breathe out.
I can't see beyond the red - it has not registered that this is blood. Breathe in. Breathe out. My training did not prepare me for this. I did not mentally prepare for acts of terrorism. What do I do? The onlookers are left in tears and terror. Breathe in. Breathe out.
Keep running. There is no finish line. Only survival.
Counting steps to keep me sane. Push the images out of my head. I cannot be afraid, but I cannot stop hearing my voice. There is panicked screaming. Is that me? Breathe in. Breathe out. My face is wet, but I'm certain that is not sweat, but instead tears. Tears of loss, fear, and adrenaline that is long gone. My humanity is kicking into overdrive. My survival instinct is overtaken by the reality registering of what is taking place around me.
There is a moment of loss. And then ... I overcome. I stop to help others around me who have fallen and are hurt. After all, I have trained this hard. My body is physically fit. I need to do this.
We are competitors. We do not stop, and our minds are trained to overide where our bodies fail us. Our will is strong. I am strong. There is no room for fear here.
I say a prayer. Help where I can. Then get to safety. The rest is yet to come. We will prevail. And I will be ready. I will never be stopped! Your terror will not prevent the good, which ALWAYS overcomes the bad.
Breathe in. Breathe out. Left foot. Right foot. I am running onward, towards a stronger nation, and a stronger me.
Boston feel our prayers.
Friday, April 19, 2013
Thursday, April 11, 2013
Northern Worries of Kim Jong Un and the Secrecy Behind his Life
North Korea's imminent threats have me glued to CNN, and other media outlets, waiting to see what next steps lie ahead. Who is Kim Jong Un? How can Il's youngest son remain such a mystery, or has his life been revealed to those on a "need-to-know" basis? He apparently differs from his Disney-seeking, privileged life of brother #1, while over compensating for brother #2's insecurities and lack of interest in the political arena.
Simply watching CNN videos, it is apparent that many North Koreans are reverant, and almost worshipful of Un, not unlike the worshiped celebrity-status culture in which I live. Is he not also a mystery to North Koreans?
I wonder what it takes to change the charged, cultural climate in which we find ourselves in, currently. So much is unknown about Un, that it makes me wonder if his deluded outlook is the result of a sheltered life. Is he the end result of his strict confines, and if so, what did those confines teach him? There are so many questions and so few answers about this young, North Korean leader.
How do people grow into this agression? I wonder if violence is simply ingrained in certain cultures, or is it just certain individuals? This question is not solely limited to this isolated situation. This question spans across all cultures and countries - my free country is no exception. There have been shootings, hostage crises, and other violent acts committed frequently where I live, but I like to think that none of this is promoted by my country's president. If this is the message provided from the top down, I fear for the hope of this country's future.
I am dismayed that many, in my generation, remain cut off from the current events taking place around the world, that they remain unaware of the gravity of situation we face. Sometimes I wonder if their naivety keeps their sanity at bay, filling their minds with the useless rhetorics of TMZ and other forms of entertainment "news." Who knows?
Moving along on my soapbox agenda of the day... North Korea has, as of moments ago, lowered the missile that was raised earlier today, making me hopeful that the hidden agenda will soon be revealed. Are they simply testing the ability of the missiles' launching equipment? Maybe it's a ploy to keep our eyes off the "real" mission. Is it simply a tactic to keep us on our toes? This is not a game of chess, but it seems that this is a sort of amusement to Un.
The timing also confuses me. According to CNN, "Foreign athletes are expected to compete in a marathon Sunday in Pyongyang, one of many sporting events organized by North Korean authorities to celebrate the 101st anniversary next week of the birth of Kim Il Sung, the founder of North Korea and the grandfather of leader Kim Jong Un."
What is Un's true agenda? Is inundating the coutnry with additional people part of the master plan? I certainly hope not...
This has been heavily weighing on my mind as of lately, and I find writing cathartic.
Until we meet again ... my hopes for a peaceful settlement remain unchanging.
~ Rachael
Simply watching CNN videos, it is apparent that many North Koreans are reverant, and almost worshipful of Un, not unlike the worshiped celebrity-status culture in which I live. Is he not also a mystery to North Koreans?
I wonder what it takes to change the charged, cultural climate in which we find ourselves in, currently. So much is unknown about Un, that it makes me wonder if his deluded outlook is the result of a sheltered life. Is he the end result of his strict confines, and if so, what did those confines teach him? There are so many questions and so few answers about this young, North Korean leader.
How do people grow into this agression? I wonder if violence is simply ingrained in certain cultures, or is it just certain individuals? This question is not solely limited to this isolated situation. This question spans across all cultures and countries - my free country is no exception. There have been shootings, hostage crises, and other violent acts committed frequently where I live, but I like to think that none of this is promoted by my country's president. If this is the message provided from the top down, I fear for the hope of this country's future.
I am dismayed that many, in my generation, remain cut off from the current events taking place around the world, that they remain unaware of the gravity of situation we face. Sometimes I wonder if their naivety keeps their sanity at bay, filling their minds with the useless rhetorics of TMZ and other forms of entertainment "news." Who knows?
Moving along on my soapbox agenda of the day... North Korea has, as of moments ago, lowered the missile that was raised earlier today, making me hopeful that the hidden agenda will soon be revealed. Are they simply testing the ability of the missiles' launching equipment? Maybe it's a ploy to keep our eyes off the "real" mission. Is it simply a tactic to keep us on our toes? This is not a game of chess, but it seems that this is a sort of amusement to Un.
The timing also confuses me. According to CNN, "Foreign athletes are expected to compete in a marathon Sunday in Pyongyang, one of many sporting events organized by North Korean authorities to celebrate the 101st anniversary next week of the birth of Kim Il Sung, the founder of North Korea and the grandfather of leader Kim Jong Un."
What is Un's true agenda? Is inundating the coutnry with additional people part of the master plan? I certainly hope not...
This has been heavily weighing on my mind as of lately, and I find writing cathartic.
Until we meet again ... my hopes for a peaceful settlement remain unchanging.
~ Rachael
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